“Every year, my films were considered as the best chosen films in the final rounds of the National Awards. And every year after year, I was getting disappointed. And that was the time when I really wanted a National Award. I was winning others, but what you don’t get, you crave for that the most,” she explains.

Nirmal Pandey and Sonali Kulkarni in Daayra.

“She’s from the industry na! That was a very famous line,” Sonali told herself when Tabu beat her to win the National Award in 1997. Tabu is the niece of veteran actor and five-time National Award-winning actor Shabana Azmi. “I was so angry and jealous of Tabu that I finally went and watched Maachis. When I watched her films, it helped me deal with the insecurities or the desperation I had,” says Sonali.

She argued that Tabu’s performance in Maachis was “so sleek” that it calmed her down. “Her performance not only gave me joy, but also had so much command it helped me come to terms with my own life and abilities. When I watched many films of Tabu, including Maachis, Astitva (2000), and Chandni Bar (2001), I fell in love with her every time,” adds the actor.

Sonali subsequently got rid of the “want” to win a National Award. “At the beginning of your career, you want to perform all your emotions with intensity. You don’t know what’s subtlety. It’s now that I’m understanding what it’s to be subtle, what the difference is between theatre acting and film acting. So, I have no complaints now. I’ve come to terms with myself, more than anything else,” says Sonali.

Sonali adds that she was once even jealous of Nandita Sen because she got to work with Mani Ratnam in the 2002 Tamil film, Kannathil Muthamittal. It was the legendary filmmaker who’d recommended Sonali for her 1994 Tamil debut, Balu’s musical romance May Maadham, but he never went on to cast her in any of his directorials. Even Tabu got to work with him in the 1997 Tamil political drama Iruvar.

Also Read: Once champions of indie films, OTT giants are now acquiring them for as less as Rs 30 lakh

Sonali did go on to win a National Award in 2002 — a Special Jury Award — for Kranti Kanade’s Marathi short film Chaitra. But now, her aspirations are different. She’s now crossing her fingers and manifesting a collaboration with Tabu. “I really hope so. Tabu and Aish got to work together in Kandukondain Kandukondain. Lovely songs and fabulous performances,” said Sonali, referring to Rajiv Menon’s 2000 Tamil musical romance. Sonali later shared screen space with Aishwarya in Gurinder Chadha’s 2004 Hollywood romantic comedy Bride and Prejudice.